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The Arrogance of Birth Control Vended to Children

Joette Calabrese, HMC, CCH, PHom M

October 4th, 2012  |  67 Comments

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Last night, my husband and I attended a party.  I engaged in a discussion with a guest I knew from years ago.  Being an obstetrics nurse at a local hospital, she told me about a project she hoped to launch in our hometown.

Since she used to be a home-birthing advocate, I was eager to hear her plans.  (Home-birthing is my idea of taking control of  a family’s wellbeing from day one).

But within minutes, I grew uneasy.

She told me that with the aid of government grants (already a suspicious start), she intended to open a reproductive clinic in a public school in an under- privileged area of town.  It would entice kids, during their study hall time, to be treated for pregnancies, to replenish their supply of French ticklers (excuse me, I couldn’t resist), drugs to suppress reproductive hormones and who knows what else.

Call me old fashioned, but is the intent of school to fabricate little consumers to purchase life-altering products that could affect their bodies, souls and legacies?

As she spoke, my husband was surreptitiously stroking my shoulder.  He sensed a volcano in me about to erupt.

“So, we might call it The-Parents-Have- Nothing-To -Say -About -Their -Own-Offspring’s Future-‘Cause-Someone-Else-Knows-Better-Clinic ?” I offered.

“But this is for underprivileged  kids, who don’t have the opportunity of making good choices,” she apologized.

My husband’s grasp grew tighter.

As a Sicilian American, I’m aware of prejudices my grandparents and parents endured less than a century ago.  Someone might judge that they were disadvantaged and incapable of making proper decisions.  In fact, this is often the flavor of discrimination.

I image my grandparents would have questioned the intention of  a stranger who would lure their daughter to ingest questionable, synthetic hormones so as to keep her from having their grandchild.  Particularly if the counselor condescendingly regarded Sicilian-Americans incapable of making good choices.

What might have  made my grandparents particularly suspicious is that their “underprivileged” child might be influenced by someone whose grants depended on the number of kids enlisted in the program.

The ultimate question for anyone faced with these kinds of  busy-bodies ought to be, why is it anyone’s business how many children a family has in the first place!?

My conversation with the nurse was making my militant bone grow stronger by the minute, and particularly flexed because the implication is that certain lineages (those who we deem don’t make decisions similar to ours) ought to be curtailed.

I thought certain sentiments went without saying, but it became apparent that they needed to be expressed. So, while we were serving the cake, I did just that.

I told her that a decision to consider limiting the lineage of a particular family via birth control pills, morning-after drugs and other such “services” is exclusively the jurisdiction of the unconditional love of a parent.  And that any rational parent would protect their youngster from such shenanigans.

Additionally, such an assessment ought not be under the influence of a psycho-babbling counselor who is paid to recruit young innocents.

Well, I didn’t say it exactly like that.  I was more polite.

I held back while my gut festered and my thoughts turned to….. Since when are the reproductive organs of another woman’s child up for grabs?

You might accuse me of not being very progressive, but her thinking seemed arrogant and disruptive of family life, hence immoral.

Indeed, I was raised to believe that children are a blessing and that their unique characteristics are from the family’s roots and that’s why it’s solely the family’s responsibility to protect and nurture them.

Now, it’s the day after the party and in a way, I regret having said this to the nurse, whose day job is to help bring babies into the world in an upscale hospital.

After all, we were at a party.

On second thought, I couldn’t harbor my impulses.

It seems that my pro-family, anti-meds, parent-decisive, keep-your-hands-off -my-kids, Sicilian-American ancestry inadvertently expressed itself.

Some bloodlines haven’t yet been suppressed.


If you feel as passionately as I do about taking charge of your family's health, I encourage you to explore my website for many, many free articles about using homeopathy at home.  Or contact my office to schedule a consultation to discuss how homeopathy could fit with your family's health strategy.  It's also free!







I am a homeopath with a worldwide practice working with families and individuals via Zoom. I'm also a teacher and most importantly, a mom who raised my now-adult children depending on homeopathy over the last 31 years. I lived decades of my life with food intolerances, allergies, and chemical sensitivities until I was cured with homeopathy, so I understand pain, anxiety, and suffering. You may feel that your issues are more severe or different than anyone else’s, but I have seen it all in my practice and in my work in India. My opinion is that nothing has come close to the reproducible, safe and effective results that my clients, students and I have achieved with homeopathy.

Call today and learn how homeopathy might just be the missing piece in your health strategy.

Joette is not a physician and the relationship between Joette and her clients is not of prescriber and patient, but as educator and client. It is fully the client's choice whether or not to take advantage of the information Joette presents. Homeopathy doesn't "treat" an illness; it addresses the entire person as a matter of wholeness that is an educational process, not a medical one. Joette believes that the advice and diagnosis of a physician is often in order.

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The Author disclaims all liability for any loss or risk, personal or otherwise incurred as a consequence of use of any material in this article. This information is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.


67 thoughts on “The Arrogance of Birth Control Vended to Children”

  1. Belinda Carrico says:

    I agree with you. Thank you for this post.

  2. Sherri says:

    You are not old-fashioned… you are right on! We need to hear more voices saying these things! I so wish someone had spoken up when I visited my local P.P. office for birth control. Not only have I dealt with emotional & spiritual consequences, but the physical consequences of what I did to my hormones and body are still affecting me 30 years later! I can only imagine how many girls (& generations) will be affected with this easier access. For those who wish to know more about what kind of damage the birth control does to a girl’s body, read this from Sarah Pope, Weston A Price chapter leader in Florida: http://www.thehealthyhomeeconomist.com/how-the-pill-can-harm-your-future-childs-health/

    1. admin says:

      I can’t recommend the link to this article enough! I wish all young women had this information before they made the decision to use a pill for convenience in the short-term.

  3. Liz says:

    Yes, there are also the serious physical consequences of “the pill” and other forms of birth control in addition to the emotional/spiritual ones!

  4. Lorna says:


    Ottimo lavoro!

  5. Mary says:

    Thank you! And thank God there are still some people willing to risk their social acceptance to say what needs to be said. God bless you!

  6. megan says:

    Wow, this is really upsetting. Makes me thank GOD again for blessing us with the means to homeschool!!! I could get on a soapbox here but I won’t, however, I think this comes real close to crossing the line of population control and eugenics. Why are values and morals no longer taught in public schools…instead of a class on “what to do after you get pregnant?” Oh yeah, I forgot. GOD has been removed from the public school system. That has a lot to do with it.

    1. joette says:

      yes. God has become the bad boy of the politically correct schools. even private schools dare not say that bad word.

  7. Roxanne says:

    Unless there is a homeopathic remedy for teenage impregnation, I would call this a huge step forward in the lives of young girls. The change I would effect is that I’d put this in “privileged” schools, too.

    It would be lovely if this were a Leave it to Beaver world, where loving parents advised children, and children accepted wise advice. Kids didn’t have sex until they had their master’s degrees and were ready to start families. This nurse is dealing with real-world families, and children who may be making the good choice not to have children of their own yet.

    1. joette says:

      To offer questionable devices and synthetic hormones that tinker with a powerful endocrine system can have generational repercussions…. and to unwitting young girls? Disgraceful!

      The pharmaceutical companies love larger market shares and we’re delivering it to them via government programs in the name of reproductive freedom, marketed to innocents. Someone else’s child, I might add.

      Unfortunately, it has been shown that these “products” are more harmful than pregnancies and from a homeopathic point of view, it takes years to correct such, if at all.

      More importantly, since when does a 13 year old girl have the wherewith all to make good decisions?

      1. Meaghan says:

        Hi Joette,

        I understand that giving birth control pills to kids is not a good idea, because it’s not a good idea for anyone to be on those pills as they are severely damaging to the endrocrine system.
        So we can advocate against hormonal birth control, particularly when it is being prescribed in a public school, to young people who don’t understand its dangers, paid by our tax dollars And all the while boosting Big Pharma profits. Abstinence is best, and should be promoted but teenagers will be having sex and so we must address this to avoid teenage pregnancy. If my child were having sex despite my teachings and blessing I would want him to understand what sex is and how to have sex safely, to avoid getting a young girl pregnant at such a vulnerable, young age.
        Your comment here was strange. You argued
        “Unfortunately, it has been shown that these “products” are more harmful than pregnancies”
        What do you mean? Because pregnancy is “[less] harmful” than the pharmaceuticals we should, just let kids get pregnant and not interfere with their family building? You don’t start a family at 14, 15, 16… I am thankful there were condoms and I didn’t get pregnant as a teenager.
        A 14 year old does not have the wherewith to make good decisions, of course, and so we must educate her, and teach her about her fertility cycle and how she can understand it. That her body is sacred and sex will come later when she is mature enough to handle the emotional, physical, spiritual consequences. Will this be taught in the schools? Doubtful. So what for now? how can we have lower teenage pregnancy rates? homeschooling, strong family values, good nutrition, focused spirituality, yes!– but Poverty can make many of these things unlikely. I imagine you haven’t lived in a ghetto. You don’t want to be pregnant in the ghetto. So if condoms at schools and sex education get the pregnancy rate down, we should support that. (and certainly advocate against drugs!) And also let us support policies that don’t make for millions of US citizens impoverished. NO Bailing out Wallstreet. NO Trillions for War in Iraq & Afghanistan, a million people dead. NO Subsidizing Crops. NO Endless Money SUPER PACs for Public Office Elections. and on and on, so sadly on…
        Your friend has good intentions; she’s misinformed about the drugs, but she’s trying to keep the pregnancy rate down, which is a good thing. You probably agree on many things.

        1. joette says:

          Your point is well taken. But I don’t believe its a matter of keeping the pregnancy rate down. We’re talking about children bearing children, not rates. each of those little girls has a future ahead and as you so aptly suggested, it needs to come from the parents. everyone else would be happy to see them with sexual lobotomies.
          but as soon as we give this job to government funded clinics and big business funding, we’ve lost our children to another’s interests.

          Its about parents becoming responsible. About parents insisiting on church, extended family, the wisdom of grandparents, etc.

          Indeed, nothing will ever stop teenage pregnancies. That’s already been proven after years of the likes of Planned Parenthood….well, unless we start thinking that its so important to keep pregnancy from happening that we have sterilization clinics available.

          We’re practically there now.

          1. Nicole says:

            Well said, Roxanne and Meaghan. I agree fully.

        2. Bethany says:

          I find Meaghan’s comments sadly disturbing. My 14 and 15 year olds know exactly what happens and choose not to even date right now. Having sex at a young age is dangerous for many more reasons than physical. They are still children and I don’t think they can deal with the act mentally or emotionally at this age– we should never encourage even “safe” sex! And btw, both of my children were surprises because these supposed “safe” methods didn’t work! But I was married and we were blessed. I’d never use birth control again. The Couple to Couple League has excellent info/books on Natural Family Planning. Teens should be learning this so they understand how it works when they do get married. I am opposed to saying sex outside of marriage is ever a good idea.

  8. joette says:

    As I wrote this, the day after the party, I was FUMING. The generational implications of this kind of thinking is much greater than what any of us can fathom.

    Sherri said it aptly. “I wish someone had stopped me when I…”. Me too!” As women, mothers, grandmothers we must link arms against anyone who entices our loved ones into doing anything that can defile our God-gifted bodies and legacies.

    ‘Power back to the family.

  9. Lady Dorothy says:

    THANK YOU for speaking up! We need not to feel stifled to express our opinions when others are expressing theirs! I, too, wish someone would have said even a little something years ago. It might have made a big difference in my life.

  10. Natalie says:

    This is the best article you’ve ever written!!! Well done, Joette! So many people would have been too afraid to say anything at all. Thank you for standing up for the true rights and well-being of those young people! It is a sad mark of our society that it sees children as an inconvenience, treats pregnancy as a disease, and views reproductive health as something that ought to be controlled – but not the sexuality that causes reproduction in the first place. That, society says, should be “anything goes!”

  11. Ruth says:

    I disagree with you 100%. I am a 74-year-old great grandmother and I have lived a life influenced poorly in many ways, including birth control pills, by the medical establishment. However, Joette, you have been blessed with a life that has been far more conducive to “success” than the majority of us. Please don’t judge the intentions of someone trying to be helpful to young people. Please TRY TO ADD ON to the knowledge being conveyed, to increase the body of knowledge given to young people, people of all ages. REPRODUCTIVE KNOWLEDGE IS DIFFICULT TO COME BY. We need ALL that we can get rather than condemning someone who is trying to convey it or that the methods conveyed are less than perfect.

    1. joette says:

      Ruth, do you believe reproductive information is hard to come by? even in my son’s Catholic school, i tried to keep him out of the “health” class but was unable to do so because of state mandates. what he learned in 9th grade was sometimes downright grotesque. but since i home-schooled him up till that time, he missed out on condom instructions followed by the passing out of them in our neighborhood public schools. there’s no shortage of info. he also missed out on discussions that his father and i felt were up to us to have with him. however, if we were of the ilk of not discussing these matters with him….that would be our choice. he is OUR child, not the school’s.

  12. bethany says:

    I am so thrilled that a few like Joette will actually speak truth. Our culture is primarily too afraid to- but when we do, it at least makes them stop and think! We have entirely lost our roots and so many mothers have chosen ignorance and the norm in giving daughters and themselves BCP’s as if there are no harmful residual effects longterm- physically, spiritually, and emotionally. I’m thankful there are others who choose to think for ourselves and our children- that is where true healing begins in all areas.
    I probably would have been screaming and fuming in front of the nurse ( I am also an RN and homebirther) – good job for keeping your cool. And yes, my hubby would have been trying to temper my anger from exploding as well! Thanks again Joette – I’m proud of you and what you will stand for!

  13. Destin says:

    Wow, this had MY sicilian blood boiling too! I have 4 year old twins and the idea of someone preying on my daughter at school under the guise of “education” makes me feel the need to sit and breathe, calm down, relax. Even if the intentions are good, the parents should make those decisions no matter how “underprivileged”. I see the consequences of long term birth control use too often in my clinic.

  14. Frances says:

    You certainly seem naive. Apparently you are not informed that teenagers in underprivilaged neighborhoods become parents at a much earlier age than their counterparts. Delaying parenthood for a few years can make all the difference in these children’s futures. Their parents are not getting the job done. Giving them opportunity and permission to make their own choices about having or preventing children is an undertaking which I commend.

    1. Bridget says:

      I applaude you!! My sentiments exactly!! And maybe if the government didn’t put so much money into so many grants like this we as a whole country wouldn’t be in so much trouble.

    2. Elizabeth says:

      You are absolutely right! Thank you for these wise words.
      With 40% of all children now born to single mothers it seems “safe sex”, birth control,abortion is not having the results we are promised by the culture of death, it is making our young women sick, poisoning them and the environment. We need to value women as women in all their beautiful fertility.

  15. Bethany says:

    All I could think as I was reading this was “AMEN SISTER!!!”… talk about a war against women (yes, I said that but I feel taking lives is a war!). If they are going to open a birth control clinic in the school then there better be a homeopathic clinic as well, and time for the education in both! All we can do is keep talking and teaching. I realized today that I’ve had a lot of influence just by failing to keep my mouth shut! 😉 (It also helps to use a little honey before dousing with vinegar!)

  16. Tami Scire says:

    You go Joette! Have no regrets, speak boldly! Maybe this person will stop and think and maybe you just saved some families from extinction! We have to be bold when we need to speak the truth!

    I love the part about your husband, mine would do the same, knowing what was coming and willing me to take a deep breath before I “unloaded”. Awesome! I’m cheering for you Joette!

  17. Leaves Heal says:

    Seems it’s become unfashionable to go the “eugenics” route. They’ve resorted to economic division of the “classes,” and advertising to minors…
    “My people are gone into captivity for lack of knowledge…”
    –Isaiah 5:13.
    When “knowledge” becomes canned, marketed, bought, sold, and dictated by the highest bidder, enslavement is in the offing.
    More power to the Sicilian impulses, and those sane impulses of every other nationality and economic group. May well-chosen words in conversations (whether in parties, whispered, or broadcast) breed freedom!

    1. joette says:

      my roots are Sicilian American, but i know darned well that these sentiments are Polish American, African American, Jewish American, Russian, Latino, Irish, Cuban…….. its about the dignity of each of our family’s ways. women must link arms for the sake of children, our traditions and our futures.

      1. Leaves Heal says:

        Traditional women’s roles meets Gandi meets Susan B. Anthony. I like it 😉

  18. Tina says:

    Being a “psycho babbling counselor” myself that worked in both suburban and city schools for a number of years-I have mixed emotions on the topic. While in a perfect world all children would be parented by loving, present, and listening parents who taught their children good decision making skills, morals, and values; the truth of the matter is that the contrast between suburban and city students, their access to services and the quality of their education is vastly different.

    Children en masse-city and suburban and rural-are having sexual experiences at earlier and earlier ages-many reports as early at 8 or 9 years old-and I’m not talking about child abuse, which is a whole different topic. And, while I agree that children are a blessing, that belief cannot be forced upon someone any more than someone can force the belief on you that birth control should be easily and readily available. One caveat-to the best of my knowledge, in most cases hormonal birth control is only available to a minor when their parent has consented to such.

    I would love to see our education system be stronger, more community oriented…I could go on and on but that’s a whole other conversation.

    1. joette says:

      Planned Parenthood does not, or at least did not 40 years ago, require a parent to sign off. in fact that was one of the selling points that lured young girls into their clinics. I doubt they’ve cracked down on such.

      The nurse in my above story , before realizing that I didn’t agree with her, told me that these children would be able to get “help” without the fear of their parent’s consent being required.

      We’re a fragile thread away from tearing families to shreds.

      1. barb says:

        I am an RN in an inner city emergency room. I read your blog, appreciate homeopathy, WAPF fundamental, etc. But on this topic I have to disagree. This issue is not black and white. and what it is important to remember here is everyone is not as privledged or educated as you are. Especially when they look up to the medical establishment for the answers. While I do not personally use hormonal contraception, I do not judge nor look down upon those who do. Many teens in my neck of the woods have no parental support. No one teaches them about birth control and there are MANY MANY unwanted births. Children are blessings, true, but they are not taken care of, and start off life with no chance. This is not a black and white issue. Its very grey. Furthermore, this RN you spoke with may be the only one who teaches these kids about safe sex, as STDs are RAMPANT. When speaking about issues such as these, be grateful for your fmaily life, because not everyone has that privledge. Just my thoughts.

        1. Meg Evans says:

          Dear Joette-

          I can’t agree enough! Dear Barb and all those who use poverty, ignorance, and lack of strong family ties and values as an excuse to allow or promote or even do nothing to prevent the denial of every parent’s rights to make decisions about every aspect of their minor’s health, education and physical welfare, wether or not they are “responsible” or even involved,is WRONG on every level. It denies the basic constitutional rights of our country of Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. These children, no matter how irresponsible their parents, are NOT wards of the state and the state, school, or any other institution, especially planned parenthood, whose very first intentions were to get rid of the “undesirable” peoples by teaching there women contraception, the slippery slope to abortion, and who’s tactics kill women daily for the sake of their billion dollar bussines, have NO RIGHT to even address our children, much less give them life damaging medicines or surgeries. If you are concerned about impoverished , under educated, or miseducated children getting pregnant, volunteer to runa program for educating and supporting parents and teens. Research has shown, from all unbiased reports, that contraception increases teen pregnancies and stds and cancer in women and men. Not to mention, abortions. Planned parenthood covers for pimps with underaged teens and pedophiles . Do more research before you decide that giving minors meds and sex ed without parental consent, or even in the schools at all, has not had disastrous consequences for our entire society in every way, and rips relationships and families in particular apart. I know first hand. And just because you are in poverty, does not mean you are ignorant or irresponsible in parenting, etc. In Nigeria, where they were forced by the United Nations, largely controlled by the US, to provide condoms and other forms of contraceptions, or face being denied food for starving populations, is still reeling from the consequences of this mostly because of a huge loss of traditional family values preventing aids and out of wedlock pregnancies, is now trying to recover by using natural medicine and teaching abstinence and self worth to the children because of who they are, children of God. Who are the sources stating that contraception is helpful, those making money off of the sale of it and of the societal consequences of it. This is black and white! Life and Death and these decsicions belong with the parents of families only!

        2. Meg Evans says:

          You should read gifted Hands, by Dr. Ben Carson, he was underprivileged and his mom could not even read, but taught her sons family values, etc.

  19. Whitney says:

    Well said! This is so heartbreaking.

    I do believe the problem begins in the home, when parents abdicate their right and responsibility to parent their own children. It’s foolish to think any socialist public institution will fight for our little ones’ freedom, health and success. But building the kind of relationships required to lead kids is a huge investment. Nothing can substitute for that–certainly not a big, degrading bandaid called “reproductive health clinic”

    I personally believe that taking back our freedom begins in the family, and with nonprofits that support the family. And sure, health and family heritage play a part, but I so believe wisdom starts with the fear of God! The sickest and most enslaved can be free and full of life in Jesus! That’s hope, right there.

    Thank you again for this troubling, motivating post.

  20. Bethany says:

    My issue with this topic is twofold. First, I find it reprehensible that these “underprivileged” students are given birth control like it will eradicate all of the consequences of having sex. Sure, it may save them from having a baby at 16, but it won’t stop them from getting a sexually transmitted disease, and it won’t stop their self worth to be centered around their bodies rather than their brains and personalities.

    Secondly, have we just all given up on teaching abstinence to kids? I truly believe there is still an oppportunity to teach students that waiting is worthwhile. I believe that if we abandon that principle, we are abandoning an entire generation of kids.

    1. joette says:

      Yes, yes. we’ve become a lazy society.

      We must teach our children what is right; not acquiesce to what’s out there. Where else will they learn the truth? Certainly not from media, their peers, their teachers, or doctors.

      If in the end, if our children go in another direction, then at least we have done our job….. Taught them what is right.

  21. Anne says:

    I highly doubt this lady is forcing these teenagers to take the pill by forming a reproductive clinic. I’m pretty sure she’ll be informing them of the realities of the choices they have available to them in this world and encourage them to be empowered on that aspect alone.

    1. joette says:

      choices? you mean like whether they should choose between abortion, the morning after pill, the daily pill, the injections to chemically suppress menstruating, the Copper-T? these are the choices in clinics such as what she proposed.

      Ask anyone who has worked at Planned Parenthood. the choices are about the device, procedure or drug. those are not choices. they are the same idea, wrapped up in different packaging. does Planned Parenthood offer girls to have their babies and put them up for adoption?do they offer the idea of abstinence? if they did , they’d go out of business lickity split. they make their income on procedures and grants offered by the pharmaceutical companies. they’re pandering to children….It hearkens to “want some candy, little girl?”
      i’d agree with you when dealing with adults, but children need to be protected from adult interests, financial and otherwise.

      i find it reprehensible when cereal that’s really candy is hawked on TV directly to children. but at least, the parent can turn the TV off or simply not buy the stuff. but when its attached to the playground and sanctioned by the school, the line becomes increasingly blurred as to what is right and wrong.

  22. Suzanne says:

    In this conversation, did the nurse mention whether abstinence was going to be shared as the only way to completely avoid STDs and pregnancy?

    I thought not.

    1. joette says:

      Abstinence?! What’s that?

      You hit it right on the nose. since when did we decide that children MUST have sex?

      There is power and pride in learning to say no to things that are inappropriate for our lives. It builds character.

      So, let’s put together an abstinence clinic.

      wait, wait. who would fund it?

      Now, we get to the real crux of the matter. Someone must profit in order for these clinics to thrive.
      Back to the pharmaceutical industry and abortionists, I guess.

  23. Sarah says:

    I agree with Sherri above. I wish someone had talk to my 14 yr old self about ABSTINENCE and not birth control. I went to both private and public school and sexual education was given at both schools. I knew all about how sex and the reproductive system but no one ever explained the long term physical, emotional, and spiritual consequences of having sex before you mature enough to. As a mother of two boys I will be making sure I talking to them on how important saving yourself for spouse is. Even if you don’t believe in saving yourself until marriage please, please! talk to young people how important it is to wait and make the decision as an adult and not as an emotionally immature, hormonally driven teenager!!!

    10 years ago you could walk into the health department and receive a physical examination, treatment, and birth control all without your parents consent! And it was completely free! What I did was wrong and the fact I was able to do it without my parents knowing is even worse!

  24. Jessica says:

    Having also worked with the heartbreak of women who need to deal with “what’s best for them” I have only one comment to make, that is, to sum up what I am hearing in this article.

    Underprivileged does not mean under-human.

    I also love the idea of mothers linking arms and moving forward Ghandi-like in regards to the health of our children and our own bodies. May no-one overpower and tell us what’s best for us without letting us freely make our own decisions and may we continue to go out boldly and share our knowledge and freedom as we experience it.

  25. Jill says:

    Take heart in the possibility that you may have planted some seeds in the mind of the nurse you spoke with!

  26. Stephanie says:

    I have thought about this a bit…
    First, I would like to say I am new to your blogs and homeopathy.
    I am still young myself and have a young daughter (3 years old) and have already started to think ahead of how I plan on educating her.. I have been changing my mind on a lot of what I was raised on and what I have learned.

    I quite understand your POV, from my own experiences. My mother put me on BC when I was 13 due to heavy menstrual bleeding. Throughout my teen years I struggled heavily with depression. When I entered college I finally read the information packet I received with every pack of pills only to find out it was likely that these pills were contributing to my depression. I eventually took myself off the pills and don’t plan on advocating this method to my daughter. Yes, I plan on raising my daughter against the mainstream.

    However, I do realize that there are girls that are not raised in a functional, educated family environment. I am pretty sure everyone knows that. How do we go forward to influence society of the dangers that we are so aware of? It is not easy, people are not so accepting to the truth. I firmly believe that teenagers need more of a push towards learning about their bodies instead of giving the easy way out. It is great to think that mothers should provide this information – but they do not know better themselves – we are not raised informed of many other options.

    I feel this subject is such a Catch 22 in this day in age. How do we move forward? How do we spread the word with so many influences? Instead of just standing against BC, how can the ideas of homeopathy be made more widespread? Perhaps this is naive of me, but my family and friends think I am absolutely insane for the recent changes I have embraced in my life.

    1. joette says:

      I believe that we have become a society that dismisses the family as the mainstay of education, health care, food preparation, morals, etc. if we continue to tell ourselves that families are incapable of doing a good job, we’re opening up the idea that there’s only one solution…the government must create programs to take on this position. indeed, there are families that are incapable. But instead of deciding for them i’d rather see society turn on its heels and genuinely encourage family life. i.e. marriage first, then children, church and temple, family meals, the importance of fathers, extended families, mothers knowing how to treat illness, less dependency on “products”. it means home, home, home. It’s sacred, vital and foundational for a successful society. i actually remember when this was a realty. It wasn’t that long ago.

    2. joette says:

      Find more like minded friends so that you have support. don’t eliminate the old, but add new ones.
      when i first learned of homeopathy, etc, i formed a group made up of friends,some who were very interested, some who weren’t sure about it. we met every Thursday night in my or others living rooms for 4 years. we studied homeopathy together by assigning chapters of a book to be presented by someone each week. we assigned homework. we all had babies and young children and it became our beloved ladies night out. it was heavenly and those women have remained some of my closet and dearest friends. now our children are getting married and forming their own groups.

      many mothers have reported that they’ve used my CD’s and books as a springboard for their meetings. Should you be interested, we offer deep discounts for groups such as this. we also offer free Cd’s as well. of course, there are many sources, now.

      i’ll bet if you google “homeopathy study groups” in your area, there’s likely one. in my area, Buffalo, NY. there are at least 4 that i know of .

      don’t’ proselytize to your family. instead, get some CD’s or DVD’s that you can give to them. it often take a different, more educated- on -the- subject -kind -of -voice to do the convincing for you.

      1. Stephanie says:


        Thank you for your insight. How can I find out more about the study groups in the Buffalo area? I am actually from Lockport and already have a couple people in mind that have similar interests as I do.


  27. Kero says:

    My daughter is only 4 and I wasn’t taught by my mother in a way that I listened to her on not having sex. What are ways and tips TO teach your child this in a way that they actually listen and abstain rather than do what their mates and media and everyone around them are doing..

    1. joette says:

      My mothering days was spent telling stories to my sons , reading books to them (that i got through my church) discoursing regularly the importance of saving intimacy till marriage. i wasn’t overt when they were young. i was more subtle then. as they grew older, i was more obvious. will they hold to what I’ve taught them? i hope so. if not, then i can at least hold my head high because i know i taught them what unfortunately took a life time for me to learn. That’s what we’re supposed to do. Deliver our wisdom.

      1. Bethany says:

        “The Princess and The Kiss: A Story of God’s Gift of Purity” by Jennie Bishop is wonderful for little girls about saving their first kiss for the person God has already prepared for them. “The Squire and the Scroll” by Jennie Bishop is a book for little boys about fighting temptation and guarding their hearts from things that are impure.
        “Theology of the Body For Teens” by Jason Evert is excellent in answering questions and providing great arguments for choosing abstinence.
        I can say that both of my children have been greatly influenced by the messages in these three books. That, and lots of love from us.

    2. joette says:

      an additional way i taught my boys was to have a household full of books on the subject. of course, they were age appropriate. many religious groups have on line stores with such materials.

      as our sons got a old enough to read, the materials were often left inadvertently in the bathroom for captivated reading time.

      Check out Jason Everet. he has some great DVD’s for adolescence and teens. he may not represent your religious views, but there are others who might support your thoughts. His DVD’s were required viewing in our household during puberty.

      PS I know they read the materials because the books were often slightly askew on the table in the bathroom!

  28. Karen says:

    Very good! You are not old fashioned but Normal! Thanks for speaking up and standing up for what is right! We must!

    1. joette says:

      Thanks Karen. this world is indeed topsy turvy, isn’t it?

  29. I believe we need more individuals, like Joette, willing to speak the truth. Something which has become much more difficult to discern these days with the push of government and media telling us to go against our natural instincts and experiences and histories, of how to care for our families.
    The majority of the “underprivileged” your friend is speaking of, are willing, with education, support and love, to come back to the basic and fundamental principles which promote moral strength and pride in making wise choices. These are empowering to any young girl or woman. To say that the they are not “capable” and the forces or powers that be, need to step in and prevent “more babies” from possibly making matters worse, is mixed up thinking.
    An idea that feeding a young girl or woman harmful drugs or placing harmful “instruments” inside of her is “better” than the alternative, which is teaching girls they have the right to say “no’, or if a pregnancy does occur, actually helping them to find the support they need instead of encouraging them to think instead, that of course they will have sex! And allowing an “inconvenient” human baby a chance to live, is not really a choice they want because it might just ruin their lives? This is nothing short of revealing how crazy and irrational our society’s thinking has become.
    To accept or believe that the government knows more than we do about raising our children is ludicrous. To accept it, is abdicating our duty and responsibility to our families and our friends and our neighbors.
    How have we come to believe that a government, or school, or doctor, or nurse, or anyone other than the parents, can step in to a family and say what should happen to the children of that family with regard to food, medications, sex education and especially medical procedures, the government deems appropriate, is outrageous.
    We all know the government has a higher intellect and better judgment than we parent’s don’t we? Why with careful deliberation, they realized the importance of getting a parent’s permission for something as dangerous as ear piercing and tanning beds, but of course, birth control pills, intrauterine devices, the morning after pill and a surgical procedure called an abortion, well they must not be nearly as dangerous because the government doesn’t need a parent’s consent for those! With a government as smart as that, who needs parents?
    A “reproductive clinic” sounds more like a mini version of planned parenthood which ends up “controlling” mostly a population of minorities.
    Yes there are young girls who have no one to turn to at home, unfortunately, but that has been the case for the last 1,000 years. Fortunately, there are places they can turn to for help, love and support. Gianna Molla pregnancy center on Church St. in downtown Buffalo is one. Harvest House on Seneca St. in South Buffalo is another. St. Luke’s Mission of Mercy is another. The list goes on.
    I sat in the Basilica during the summer and listened to two or three men give a heartwarming and tearful testimony of how growing up with Father Baker and having a chance to learn a trade and have a decent life because of his home for unwed mothers and his orphanage, was beyond any gratitude they could ever express.
    If there is any doubt about the terrible effects the “pill” is having on young women, which Joette tried to convey, please go to Polycarp.org and also google Dr Chris Kahlenborn, MD, or Meg Meeker, MD. You will read for yourselves, what Joette is talking about. The research is all there and it is very grim. Breast cancer, cervical cancer, ovarian cancer, infertility, and all the emotional repercussions.
    There are few things left in life which are certain:
    1. God’s love for us.
    2. A Mother’s “natural” instinct to love and care for her children.
    We need to rely on our God given instincts, that there is a better and wiser way to go about this.

  30. Shawna says:

    please go to an inner city or rural area, where I live now, where there are girls 12-14years old and pregnant. Yes, in the ideal world, we should be teaching all young girls in school the fertile cycle method AND have birth control and even early, before 6 weeks abortion if needed. It is a crime that health care is for those that can afford it. I have been the midwife for plenty of young girls and we should have afford health care BEFORE they were having babies. Did you know that if you miss your period and you are less than 9 weeks pregnant, that the method is a simple pill by mouth, and hours later, small pill in vagina, along with some Motrin, and that is it.

  31. Anonymous says:

    I understand where you are all coming from. I am a young woman who is well- informed of the risks of birth control pills and other forms like deppo and Nuva ring and implanon.  Abstinence sounds perfect in a mind that is blinded by the realities of today.  

    Today women are becoming mothers while in middle school because their families don’t care about their whereabouts, or their well -being.  I know ,I worked with “kids” or in your book women who were having sex since 7th grade and whose parents cared little about them. 

     Now is it possible to raise a child after an “ooops “pregnancy, yes ,but most likely the child will be fatherless and have many other brothers and sisters down the road and psychological damage.   Their quality of living will be horrendous and thus a vicious cycle begins that our upperclass society is encouraging!

    There needs to be protection or else kids will become mothers in underprivileged areas( which is a term decided on earned income in a community). They are at-risk kids. These kids that your friend,the  Nurse, was probably referring to don’t have what you or I have. 

    You cannot relate to how much they have gone through already by that age, but that does not make them fit to be mothers when they have  barely been allowed to be children. and how can they mother a child when 9 times out of ten in those types of communities their own mothers are barely around for many terrible reasons. So let’s encourage them to hav abstinence,?no,this is their lifestyle they won’t stop because their society ,in which they live, makes it normal to have sex- its completely different from your own! They hear the word abstinence and they will laugh,trust me I’ve said it to classrooms of 7-12th graders. 

    They need protection or else we will have more poor children raised in underprivileged families/communities with parents who don’t take care of them with any form of healthcare, or clean clothes or hot water. Why would you say it’s okay to let a child go through this? Don’t we hav enough kids suffering? Don’t we have real adult women who can’t get pregnant that deserve to be moms and most importantly are ready to be them.
    These kids don’t have you guys as moms!these kids she is assisting and talking about will never go to college,more than half will be killed by gang related violence and many will carry stds. They don’t have a parent that loves them and wants to Homeschool them like you guys! They don’t even have the means to educate themselves like you can. They are living in a world where rapes and gangbangs and such happen! This is what the nurse wants to help out with because it isn’t uncommon to come across unwanted pregnancies 

    I understand that your point of view is old fashioned but it sounds very naive when thinking of not just white middle-class “families!” Go work with these, yes completely underprivileged ,young women/kids for  a week and tell them to abstain from sex.  Listen to them first before you talk and u will hear atrocities to which u could never ever fathom going through if you were their age( related to sex, shootings, drugs, vulgarities) Not everyone is as smart as you and many are thrust in terrible terrible positions where they need choices like your nurse friend is offering.

    And if we bring god into this he is the only one  to judge others not you. So rid yourself of your vanities and be as brave as your nurse friend to venture to this dark underworld – help the unfortunate instead of the upper middle class , by that you can volunteer. Maybe then you will re-evaluate your militant opinion and how harshly you may be judging others on thinking that they don’t need that type of help.

    Also I have secillian relatives who are straight from the land and they have strong family morals but don’t use their heritage as an excuse to judge others. Sometimes there are pros with cons.

    1. you know a great deal about me. i know nothing about you…not even a name! ….. unless Anonymous is an old Sicilian name of which i’m unfamiliar.

      that fact alone leads me to disregard your post. have some guts, my dear.

  32. sarah says:

    I didn’t get through this whole blog, but Joette, as always, I am awed by your ability to clearly, intelligently, and peacably express your right opinion. You are wise.
    It seems your nurse friend should be arranging to educate students(yes, since many/most parents don’t) on the exquisite creation their bodies are, created by God (I know these are not the terms that would be “allowed” in school). Natural Family Planning is God’s perfect system of knowing a woman’s body and also helps her keep sexual intimacy reserved solely for marriage as it sacredly is intended to be.
    God’s grace is certainly sufficient to preserve one’s virginity btw…

  33. Jodi says:

    OMG, I am shocked at this conservative turn of your blog. I thought I was reading about homeopathy but is seems this is more about the rantings of the conservative right trying to keep kids sheltered. You talk about families mothers needing to take back their health but teenagers should also be trusted to make some of their own decisions about sex, and birth control meaning they need education and options. I would never tell someone they MUST have a home birth or use homeopathy or tell someone they must be on the pill to prevent pregnancy or tell them it is bad to take a Tylenol. Planned Parenthood give people many options and obviously someone going there has already NOT chosen abstinence. I will give my daughter my take on things but ultimately it will be up to them. Let not punish, blame, and persecute others for not seeing things the way you do. And I prefer you stick to homeopathy, which you are awesome at but I don’t need your church speak, thank you.

    1. homeopathy is indeed about sheltering our families. you didn’t know that part? if not, then why not just tell your teenage daughter to make her own decisions about what kind of medicine she ‘d like to take for her headaches and menstrual pain?

      Planned Parenthood does not offer options…unless you consider options to be the choice between synthetic hormones, the morning after pill, or an abortion.

      i find it disturbing that people believe in whole health only to the point it steps on the reproductive system. then they turn on a dime and suddenly love pharmaceuticals and surgery.

      and i agree, i’d never tell someone they MUST use homeopathy or have a home birth either, which is why i find it repulsive to hear that someone else feels that our children ought to be marketed to with THEIR ideas.

      lets get a clinic in these schools that teach the other side. THEN we’ll be talking about choices that are well represented.

  34. Bethany says:

    I don’t think many people know that Hitler wanted to make “Nazi babies” during WWII. He had the adolescents in his Hitler Youth swim naked with each other. Many teen girls became pregnant during this time. I find the idea that underprivileged girls only want to have sex as the same line of thinking– that government knows what’s best. I think sterilization by birth control with these girls who aren’t given the information about healthy options, is just as bad as Hitler deciding girls should be producing babies for him. When politics decide what’s best for our families then there is no freedom, no liberty left. And the public school is part of our political system.

  35. MKMarble says:

    I just joined only because of this post (because it was the first one I read). I love your courage and honesty Joette! Thank you for being a voice of reason in an unreasonable world. Should it only be about pregnancy though people how many young people are getting/spreading STD’s because they are being taught “safe sex”. You can only be so safe…the school should teach abstinence as the only true way to be totally safe and they just wont even mention it.

  36. Megan says:

    This is 1 Irish-American who agrees with you. Don’t touch my kid! She is MINE!!!! I decide!

  37. Shelley says:

    Joette, I like you even more after reading this article! Thank you for having the moral courage to speak out about this. I had a baby out of wedlock as a teenager, so I made sure when I got married and had children to teach them proper morals, to respect themselves and wait for marriage to have sex, which they have done. Instead of handing those underprivileged kids drugs and devices, they should be taught morals and respect. Thank you!

    1. Joette Calabrese, HMC, CCH, RSHom(Na) says:

      Thanks for you comments. I can’t help but wonder if the world has gone loony…mothers teaching their young to use birth control instead of self control.

      Thanks for your words of encouragement. Not everyone who commented agreed with me. It takes someone with common horse sense, like you to see the wisdom in holding to good character in raising children.

      I like you even more too!

  38. ( : Katelyn : ) says:


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